Encouraging Pride in Queer Wellness
Written by Kars Dodds (They/Them) - Bodyworker, Movement Artist & Writer
MASAJ is lucky to call Kars a member of our family and since their time with us they have been passionately working to ensure that MASAJ remains a safe and accessible space for Queer Wellness. Not only is Kars an incredible bodyworker but they are also a movement artist and writer, with an insightful blog dedicated to covering the most important, but often overlooked topics relating to bodywork and Queer Wellness. If you have been lucky enough to meet Kars at MASAJ you will know the radiant, positive and nurturing energy that they bring to everything they do and the safe space that they are able to create for each of their guests.
Working with us as both a bodyworker and in client care, Kars has a broad ranging knowledge and experience in creating a place that truly holds people from the LGBTQ+ community. In this feature Kars talks about Encouraging Pride in Queer Wellness, exploring the obvious Queer Wellness Gap that still exists and how bodyworkers and MASAJ as a brand can help to close this gap and create an accessible and safe space for those who are part of the LGBTQ+ community.
Happy Pride, may you experience and embrace your inner truths.
I’m Kars, my pronouns are they/them/theirs and LGBTQ+ wellness is a topic very close to my heart.
It’s rare within the wellness industry to discover a place where I feel safe saying that. Luckily, I’m in a place of pride within myself and the community where I feel encouraged to make myself known, as I am.
Now, this is not an easy place to get to. It wasn’t for me, and it isn’t for many. Arriving and showing up with pride is something that I truly had to work towards. It took making new friends, asking lots of questions, experimental haircuts, tearful conversations, and exploring what joy feels like to me.
And still, there’s much more for me to learn and discover. Queerness is an unfolding process, similar to the way we discover our changing bodies and wellness needs. THE FACTS
I’ve seen the impacts of homo- and trans-phobia in the medical and wellness industry first hand and supported loved ones through the thick of seeking affirmative care.
There are many elements to consider when discussing the queer wellness gap and while I’ll highlight a few, my focus in writing here is to provide support for the LGBTQ+ community and offer guidance in allyship for bodyworkers.
The Queer Wellness Gap is largely determined by a lack of knowledge around LGBTQ+ health and wellness needs by professionals and the general population. When taking queer and trans health and wellness into consideration it feels relevant to highlight the fact that it wasn’t long ago that same sex relationships and gender affirming surgeries were criminal charges in the UK. In some parts of the world, this is still the waking reality.
It’s no surprise that this has impacted the wellness industry. Yet with an increase in anti-trans, anti-gay, and anti-reproductive right legislation world wide - queer wellness is being threatened just as it begins to bloom.
The NHS conducted an LGBTQ+ National Survey in 2017, here’s what the survey revealed:
At least 16% of survey respondents who accessed or tried to access public health services had a negative experience because of their sexual orientation, and at least 38% had a negative experience because of their gender identity.
51% of survey respondents who accessed or tried to access mental health services said they had to wait too long, 27% were worried, anxious or embarrassed about going and 16% said their GP was not supportive.
80% of trans respondents who accessed or tried to access gender identity clinics said it was not easy, with long waiting times the most common barrier.
While these statistics do not demonstrate the disparity of LGBTQ+ people in their access to wellness services (like massage), they do demonstrate that a large proportion of us struggle to have our immediate needs met.
When experiencing such a lack of medical attention, or long waiting periods, there is an increase of stress that impacts mental and physical wellness.
Increased stress caused a build up of the stress hormones: cortisol and norepinephrine. When there is an increase in cortisol, it becomes difficult for the body to enter into a state of deep relaxation. Bodywork and touch are able to relieve the body and aid it in rediscovering impactful rest. Skin-to-skin touch releases oxytocin (the bonding hormone) which then increases the level of serotonin and dopamine (feel good hormones). The presence of oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine are able to boost the immune system, lower heart rate and blood pressure, lessen depression and anxiety, and make you feel generally happier!
So what can we do to increase this phenomenon among the LGBTQ+ population?
I propose self nourishment, bodyworker allyship and community nourishment - here’s a quick introduction to each.
SELF NOURISHMENT
We’ve all heard the saying “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else.” As a fan of Drag Race, this saying rings in my ears whenever I make a decision that doesn’t align with my own desires, with my gut.
One way to manifest this self love that RuPaul mentions every second she gets, is to follow what feels good: explore some self massage. Self massage can take many different forms.
Start by grounding. Place one hand on your heart and the other on your belly. If this is accessible to you, simply bring your attention to the areas of your body that are in contact with the floor/chair/bed that supports you. Take deep cleansing breaths, following the rise and fall your body makes in response.
Allowing yourself to get truly curious about your body is grounding, which is a key coping skill in managing anxiety, depression, and dysphoria (commonly felt within the LGBTQIA+ community). Imagine that you can hold yourself - your body and your desires. Hold yourself the way your duvet and pillow hold you at night, with gentle warmth and give.
ALLYSHIP 101 FOR BODYWORKERS
1. Watch your words
If the client has openly shared their pronouns with you, respect them when addressing them. The same is true when handling a legal name and a chosen name. The individual's legal name is to be kept confidential, for legal uses only.
This may seem arbitrary. It is not. By ignoring pronouns and chosen names, the guest may feel unseen, unheard, and unsafe. The subtext of doing so is that you do not care or can’t be bothered to see them as they are. This can be uncontrollably triggering for many gender non conforming and queer folks.
Acknowledge your mistakes. If you let the pronoun slip, that’s okay. Simply acknowledge your mistake and correct yourself. By no means should your guest feel they have inconvenienced you by being themselves.
2. Champion your guest as the expert of their own body
While you may be the expert on bodywork, your guest is the expert of what they experience and feel within their body. Affirm their bodily knowledge, both verbally and in how you approach the treatment.
3. Recognise their needs beyond their identity
Not everything that happens to a LGBTQ+ body is due to the fact that they are LGBTQ+. If a guest has opened up to you about their gender identity, do not assume this is the cause of every ailment they demonstrate.
4. Respect boundaries - Don’t ask why
Just honor their boundaries. If a boundary isn’t explicitly defined, ask for consent before proceeding. Stay in touch with your clients body language and energetics. If they hold their breath when you touch an area, take the hint!
COMMUNITY NOURISHMENT - MOVING FORWARD WITH PRIDE
Generally speaking - queer folks need community support, more than they need self care. This is something we are working to combat at MASAJ. As much as we (bodyworkers) want to hold you, we also want to hold you within our community. Massage is an intimate practice that requires trust in order to be impactful.
As you continue to celebrate pride, I encourage you to take time for reflection and nourishment anywhere you can access it.
We’d love to receive your feedback on how we’re doing in inclusivity and accessibility. You can contact us at hello@masaj.me to share your thoughts and experiences.